That day started out just like every other workday for the past few years, you know. Got out of bed, went to work, shuffled some papers, made some phone calls. I had a meeting with the superintendents in the morning, and one with a new sub in the afternoon. Nothing out of the ordinary, and all but a few of the details of that day have dissolved into the grey....it was almost a year ago, after all. But one memory remains absolutely vivid, and I get the warm fuzzies each time I remember meeting that "new sub" that afternoon, and the surprise I felt when she kissed me there in the conference room. Wow.......for an instant my universe reduced to the warm softness of her lips, her silky hair brushing my face. Writing this today the memory of that instant comes back, and the soft cinnamon and vanilla fragrance of her hair is almost overwhelming.
And it was just a peck on the cheek. Normal business greeting here in south Florida....the business kiss. Same thing as a handshake, basically, but infinitely more civilized. It took me by surprise the first few times a woman, being introduced, leaned up to kiss me on the cheek. The first few times I left them hanging, which is as rude as not shaking a hand that's presented. Luckily one of the guys at work clued me in to the intricacies of the ritual, and although I'm not as smooth and graceful with this as some people, I am getting there.
Anyway, somehow I managed to get through the meeting that day without making a fool out of myself (I think!), and although I was just absolutely captivated by this woman I knew that, among other things, it would be inappropriate for me to act on my attraction to her because of the business relationship. I delegated contact with her to one of my project managers, and although I felt an electric charge grip my body every time I saw her on the site or got an e-mail from her, I forced myself to at least try to maintain a professional distance. Until recently.
Since Mikki and I split up a few years ago, I've actively resisted getting involved with another woman. I've had some dates, met some fairly interesting women, had some fun, but, you know, I was just going through the motions and honestly it was all about as satisfying as watching TV. And this is a pretty common story, I think, when a marriage breaks up. Like a lot of men do in this situation, I binged and then retreated and focused my energy on my work, where I at least felt like I could control things. I made a plan - work, save some money, get a boat, and be in a position to cast of the docklines and go chase the horizon by Feb. 1, 2009. I've kept to that plan, too, making damn sure I didn't get caught up in any emotional entaglements that could distract me from that plan.
And I'm not saying that I'm expecting or looking for anything like that now, but recently I've had, or made, maybe, more occasions to be in contact with this amazing woman. I asked her to lunch, and she said OK. We've talked on the phone a lot, and although I know almost nothing about her it feels like I've known her forever. She's smart, funny, independent, and for all I know she may just be being nice to me because that's her nature. I do know that she's kind and compassionate to stray animals. And if that's the case, I'll be crushed, I think, but that's OK.
So....we'll see what happens, huh?
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